Kick start my heart
by luxintennebris
Summary: "The more you look at her, the more your heart starts pounding inside your chest, overwhelming you with emotions you didn't know you had the capacity to feel." One-shot.


**Kick start my heart.**

You're both lying on your bed, side by side, not touching like how you usually do. Considering what had happened recently, this was not surprising. You listen to her breathing, knowing she hasn't fallen asleep yet. Inside, you're dying to roll over and talk to her but your pride won't let you. She shifts suddenly beside you, and you turn your head to look at her. The moon was barely out tonight, but you can still see her eyes glimmer and all at once, you find it hard to breathe.

"Do you love me?" She asks, her voice barely audible. You give a slight start at her question, your tongue darting out to wet your lips that have suddenly become dry.

Sitting up, you ask "What kind of question is that?" Your tone is not accusatory, far be it for you to accuse her of anything other than making you fall madly for her every single time she so much as glanced at you. "Of course I do."

"Do you mean it?" It was almost whispered.

"Yes. I do." This time, a little more firmly, almost harshly. "Why -"

She gazes at you through lashes laced with unshed tears. "Remember what you told me? About us? How this was just a phase we were going through and that one day we'd each find someone else we really love and we'd move on and forget we ever -" Her voice breaks off abruptly and she rubs the back of her hand over her eyes, almost angrily, as if the notion of her crying upsets her.

 _ **When tomorrow comes, I'll be on my own  
Feeling frightened of the things that I don't know**_ **.**

Your heart plummets to the pit of your belly as your mind flashes back to a few days ago when you both had one of your biggest fights yet. You can almost taste the bitterness of the words you spat out at her. Words said out of fear. Words you would do anything to retract. Normally, the both of you resolve conflicts within the day, but this time, it was different. "I was angry, scared, I didn't mean it."

She smiles sadly at you, and even then, your heart almost stops beating at the sight. "People usually almost always mean the things they say when they're drunk or angry."

Your mouth opens and closes, unsure of how to proceed from the truth of that statement. A heavy silence hangs between the both of you. You look at her and you see her for how you've always seen her: vicarious, a literal hurricane of energy that has sucked you in since day one. She's good, kind, gentle, fearless, everything you're not and don't intend to be but you find yourself wanting to because of her. But she's never wanted you to change any part of yourself; she's always wanted you to be you and to love yourself unconditionally _just like I love you_ she'd say, flashing you that smile that kick starts your heart. The more you look at her, the more your heart starts pounding inside your chest, overwhelming you with emotions you didn't know you had the capacity to feel. Emotions for her, only for her.

 _ **I got all I need when I got you and I  
I look around me, and see a sweet life.**_

It scares you so much when you think about your future, because all you can see is her in it with you. It didn't matter what you were doing, not really, so as long as her hand was in yours. _Together, we'd dominate the world_ you used to joke. Life together with her both frightens and exhilarates you and even when you think about the looks and the stares and people talking behind your back, all you had to do was think about her and everything else just melts away.

 _ **I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight  
You're getting me, getting me through the night.**_

"Santana?"

You shake yourself out of the haze of thoughts and in that moment when she calls your name, you find your clarity. Your eyes find hers again; she's looking at you, waiting for your response. Instead, you reach down and take her hands into yours, pulling her up to sit with you. Cupping her face in your hands, you lean your forehead against hers, breathing in her scent.

"I love you." You murmur softly, pressing a gentle kiss against her lips. You can taste the salt of her tears staining her mouth as you kiss her again. "I love you." You said again, more insistently, this time raining kisses on her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids, her jawline. Now she's crying freely, her tears flowing down her face as she flings her arms around your neck and pulls you into a tight embrace. You knew then that you would do anything and everything to never make her cry because of you ever again.

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry I made you feel that I didn't. You have to believe that." You beg, your arms tightening around her body as she sobs into your neck. "I love you so much, it scares me. I don't know what I'd do if you were not here with me, B." Your voice catches, and of course she hears it. Sometimes you think she knows you better than you know yourself. She pulls away from your neck to look at you.

"Hey hey, it's okay," she whispers, wrapping her hands around your face. "I'm here. I'm always here for you, Santana."

You can't help but let out a little sob. Even when you're trying to console her, she somehow ends up being the one picking you up, and you love her so fiercely for it. She's your knight in shining armor. She's your soulmate, and you know that you will never love anyone else as much as you love her.

Gently, she swipes her thumbs over your cheeks, rubbing away the tears on your face. You laugh a little at this, slightly embarrassed by your own tears. "What's so funny?" She asks, quirking an eyebrow up.

"Look at us, crying like a couple of babies."

"You're _my_ baby," she says cheesily, pressing a kiss against your cheek and just like that, you swoon all over again.

"We should sleep then, babies can't go too long without it." You reply back with a lopsided smile. She grins at you and reaches out with her finger to poke your dimple before pulling you down onto the bed beside her. She flings an arm around you and buries her face into your neck, breathing in deeply. As you start to make yourself comfortable, the room is suddenly flooded with the warmth of the moonlight. Blinking, you look out the window and see that the moon has come out.

"Guess the moon decided that she didn't wanna hide anymore." She mumbles sleepily behind you. You chuckle softly at this.

"Goodnight B."

 _ **You're my flashlight.**_


End file.
